A Love of His Own
by JohnStrider19
Summary: (Humanstuck!) Karkat never really thought about falling in love. He spent most of his time hiding the fact that he was gay.
1. Intro

Karkat just can't get his life in check. Granted, it doesn't help that he's a foul mouthed teenager with little-man syndrome.

Some girls like him, like Nepeta, but he finds them annoying and regualry cusses them out. He's worried that if they get to close to him that they'll find out the one thing he tries so hard to hide.

He's worried that they'll find out that he's gay. Something not even his father knows.

But, something is going to happen to change that. And soon.

Hey guys! So I'm new to this here website but not to the ff world. If any of you are also on ficwad, you know me as Lalatherapist16.

I'm not leaving Ficwad, I'm simply opening up my writing. That and Ficwad doesn't have as many categories as on here, so...

But anywhos, I shall leave you all with this and start writing the first chapter as this is just the overview. Oh, and this is Humanstuck story with LOTS of yaoi in it. It might not seem like it from this, but trust me, I have a very sexy imagination.

-JS


	2. Chapter 1

When I think back to the day we met, I should be scared shitless and leave him. But I'm not. I _can't._

I'd just left school, walking home. Nepeta had chased me all the way down the street before she stopped. Of course I told her to leave the me the fuck alone many times, but she never listened to me.

While lost in my raging thoughts - mostly directed at Nepeta - I walked well past my house. By the time I realized where I was, I was in the bad part of town, where gangs thrived.

"Shit." I whispered, turning around. Behind me, there was a loud bang and a scream. I turned without meaning to.

What I saw made my hair stand on end and my heart nearly stopped in fear. A tall boy was walking out of an alley, his painted face bright against the dark mouth. His grin parted into a yawn as he ran his hand through his hair, looking over at me.

"Sup?" He nodded, smiling again. I've heard of these guys, the ones with the painted faces. The Subjugglators. "Hey little dude, you okay?" He asked, coming closer to me.

He was wearing a purple jacket and black clothes. I swallowed hard, frozen where I stood. His large hand rested on my shoulder, his heat sinking into my jacket and warming my skin.

"Hey, you don't look so good." He frowned, bending to look closer at me. His eyes were a pretty shade of brown. His breath smelled like grape candy.

"There you are Karkitty!" I jumped at Nepeta's voice and turned. For the first time ever, I was happy that she'd followed me. The boy in front of me raised his eyebrow and grinned.

Nepeta stopped when she saw him, her signature tail swinging behind her. The bell she wore on a collar around her neck jingled as she tilted her head slightly, her deep green eyes full of fear and curiosity.

After a second, she recovered, bouncing up to the Subjugglator. "Hi!" She smiled at him.

"Well hey there sis." He grinned back, his eyes flicking to me. "Sorry bout keepin your bro. Be sure he gets home, kay sis?" She nodded. He stretched and turned around, walking down the sketchy street. "Later Karbro." I heard him say over his shoulder, making me bite my lip.

Why did I like that? "Karkitty is that your new friend?" Nepeta asked, grabbing my arm.

I pulled away and started to head home, her on my heels.

So I'm sure you all have some idea now about whiich pairing I'm going with here. But, if not, I shant ruin the surprise for you later!

For those of you wondering, I will be writing this from Karkat's POV the whole time, but I will write Gamzee very well because he is my patron troll, so there is Caprigirl pride on the line. Chapter two will be up in a little bit.

-JS


	3. Chapter 2

I outran Nepeta on the last block before my house, slamming and locking the door before she could find me again. "Karkat Vantas!" My dad shouted at me. I flinched.

My dad was always so crabby. That probably made him mad. "Sorry dad, I was being chased by bees." I lied.

"Bees this late in the year? That's odd." He believed it?! Wow. "Come help with dinner." He said, his voice calmer now.

"What're we having?" I asked, dropping my backpack on the couch. He was standing at the counter, his hands in a bowl.

"Your favorite. Crab cakes." I smiled at that. No matter how shitty my day was, dad could make it better. "Start the oven, yeah?" He said, nodding to the stove.

We'd make this at least once a month. And always for my birthday.

Ever since my mom died, we did this. She would ALWAYS make these. Once a week.

I got most of my traits from her. My love of crab, my hair and eye color, my height...

Okay, the last one wasn't something to brag about. But still, when mom would call me her little man, it didn't make me mad. "Anything happen today?" Dad asked, reaching around me to grab a cookie sheet.

"No." I said, my mind instantly going to the Subjugglator. He'd called me 'little dude' and 'Karbro'. The first one wasn't great, coming from someone so freakishly tall like him, but I kind of liked the second.

It was better than 'Karkitty', at least. I wonder what Nepeta is going to tell her friends?

That thought made my stomach clench in nerves. "You okay?" Dad asked, making me jump.

"Yeah." I sighed, trying to take my mind off of the possible rumors. When I think about what we must have looked like, him with his hand on my shoulder and bending down to look at me.

My looking up at him. It must have looked like we were...about to kiss. Shaking my head hard, I told Dad that I would be up in my room.

I took the stairs two at a time and opened my door. The smell of my rom calmed me slightly. I got on my laptop and saw I had three new messages from John and Dave each. Dave was...okay. John...meh.

Dave was asking if I'd killed Nepeta yet and John was asking me if I would hang out with him this weekend. Dave had moved here from Texas and he and his older brother were...I'm not sure how to put this...

Super fucking weird. John was like me, his dad the only parent he has. Only, he never knew his mom. So I kind of know what it's like. However, his dad is cake crazy.

Every time I go over, there's at least seven different cakes in the kitchen and one in the oven. John doesn't know why and his dad won't give me a straight answer.

He always goes into some bullshit story about his mom always in the kitchen baking and blah blah blah. I told them both no and turned off my laptop, going to lay down.

My bed was low, close to the floor. That's the way I liked it. After a good few minutes of silence, a little pinging sound came from my window.

At first I ignore it, but there was another. Groaning, I went to look. Standing outside was Sollux and Aradia. Aradia flicked another pebble at the window, making me jump.

I opened it right as she threw another, hitting me in the forehead. "Ow! What the fuck?!" I hissed, rubbing the stinging spot.

"Sorry Karkat." She dropped the pebbles in her hand and brushed them off on her skirt.

"Is it true that you were talking to a gang member?" Sollux asked, making my eyes bug. "Nepeta was talking about it in the chat room." He lisped loudly.

"Keep it down. My dad is in the kitchen." I said, narrowing my eyes. They gasped.

"So it is true!" Sollux looked at Aradia, who was grinning brightly.

"How exciting!" She said, her eyes lighting up her face.

"It was a mistake. I got lost and he was there." I said quickly. "I didn't even talk to him." I said, thinking I should have talked to the guy.

"How old was he?" Aradia asked, her hands clinging to her skirt.

"I don't know. Probably about our age?" I shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

"Because there's been rumors around school that there's a new kid coming who's in a gang." Sollux crossed his arms. "If you actually listened to people, you would know this."

"I don't think it's him." I frowned. But what are the odds? There's only two high schools in town. He has to go to one of them.

"It's not like there's a lot of schools in town." Aradia said what I was thinking. "He has to go to either Lincoln or Bushvil." She said, looking at me.

We went to Lincoln. Bushvil is at the far South end of town, right in the center of gangland. I'm sure that's where the guy went to.

While Lincoln wasn't perfect with fighting and bad students, Bushvil was basically a prison.

The students fought like no other and there were rumors of them getting drunk and high in class. None of us knew if they were true or not, though.

No Lincoln kid was brave enough to go to that school. Not even for sports games.

In the back of my mind, I was hoping that he _was_ coming to Lincoln. So I could actually talk to him.

"We'll find out tomorrow." Aradia said happily. "All the teachers are talking about it. They've been trying to figure out a way to keep the classes calm."

I swallowed hard at that thought. "Karkat! Dinner's ready!" I heard dad call me from the kitchen.

"I have to go guys. I'll see you tomorrow." I pulled my head back inside and shut the window. I was so nervous about tomorrow I couldn't really eat dinner. Dad asked what was wrong, but I wasn't sure how to answer.

Once the kitchen was clean and I'd showered, I went to sleep, dreading what was going to happen tomorrow at school moe so than usual.


	4. Chapter 3

I woke up to my alarm clock going off from possibly the most annoyingly sexy dream I'd ever had. Pushing the button to stop the clock, I got dressed and headed down the stairs, still half asleep.

Dad was at work already, a note on the counter. 'Have fun at school. Pancakes in the microwave.' I opened the microwave door and found a stack of chocolate chip pancakes.

I heated them for about half a minute and poured some milk. As I ate, I struggled to stay awake, my mind drifting back to the dream every few seconds.

With a glance at the clock, I gasped and grabbed the last pancake, leaving the plate on the table, and ran out the door, my backpack hanging off one shoulder.

If I walk fast, I'll make it on time. Hopefully. The walk was peaceful, the mid fall air cool against my hot face.

When I first got on school grounds, everything seemed fine. But, inside was abuzz with whispers. The girls were talking about the hot new guy.

The guys were talking about how he was probably a bad student and that there were probably going ot be fights. I ignored it all, heading to my locker.

Waiting for me there were Aradia and Sollux, holding hands. "Karkat, the new guy is a transfer from Bushvil. His mom left his dad and she's living up here now." Aradia started I nodded, not really listening as I opened my locker and took my books out of it. "Karkat are you even listening?" She asked. I nodded and looked at her.

"Do you think it might be him?" Sollux asked. I shrugged and started to my first class only to be stopped by a hand grabbing my wrist.

"Here he comes." Aradia whispered in my ear, turning me around. "He's so tall." She breathed.

I knew it was him just by that. It _was_ him making his way down the hall. His face was clean of paint now, a sucker in his mouth.

His backpack was slung over his shoulder, his clothes all black still. His purple hoodie was partially zipped up. I had to admit, it was sexy.

He smiled suddenly, making all the girls - aside from Aradia - sigh. I swallowed hard as he came to stand by me. "Hey Karbro. Looks like we're locker neighbors." He grinned, opening the locker right next to mine.

Aradia nudged me, making me jump. "Looks like it." I said. Brilliant Karkat! Fucking brilliant!

I wanted to climb into my locker and die. "I didn't really get a chance to introduce myself last time. I'm Gamzee Makara." He smiled, holding out his hand. I shook it, getting the feeling my face was hot.

"I'm Karkat. And these two are Aradia and Sollux." I gestured to them, trying to take his attention off of me. He smiled at them, but kept his eyes on me.

"Is it true that you're in a gang?" Aradia asked, always straight forward. Gamzee looked shocked but smiled at her, taking the grape ucker out of his mouth.

"So, it's got around, huh?" He sighed, looking at the roof. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Everyone around us had been listening in and gasped, whispering things instantly. "But it's not like I'm a bad guy." He shrugged. "I'm not the best guy, but I'm not bad." He smiled smally. "My old man. Now _he's_ a bad guy."

He sighed again and shook his head, putting his sucker back in his mouth. I watched as he hung his backpack on his chest and opened it.

From it, he pulled out pictures and tape. He started to tape the pictures to the door of his locker. Every one of them had him in it with other people.

But not one had people with painted faces. I looked at him again, closer. "Hey Karbro, can you show me where my homeroom is?" He handed me his printed schedule as he started to unload his books.

He had the same class list as me. My jaw dropped. "Karbro?" He asked, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Basically just follow me all day and you'll be in the right place." I said, too stunned to look at him.

The first bell rang, sending kids running. Aradia picked her bag up, kissed Sollux on the cheek and ran off. "Later KK." He patted my shoulder, running off as well.

Which was understandable. Their classes were on the faar ends of the school while mine and Gamzee's were rght down the hall. "Ready." He grinned at me, grabbing his book from the shelf and slipping them into his backpack.

"Kay." I said, shutting my locker. We walked, side by side, to our homeroom. The few students left in the halls stared daggers at us.

As I opened the door, all the chatter stopped. Gamzee, easily a head taller behind me, had silenced the whole room. I headed to my seat while Gamzee went to the teacher's desk. I knew where he was going to sit already.

There was only one open desk. And it was right next to me.

Sure enough, he came to sit next to me, his knees hitting the bottom of the desk as he did. Tension seemed to be rolling off of everyone in the room aside from us. "Class." Ms. Carner said, standing up. "This is our new student, Gamzee Makara." At his name, hissed statements flew through the other students.

"Makara? Isn't that the guy who got arrested for killing his son?" One girl asked, louder than the other whisperes. Gamzee hung his head slightly, his hand covering his mouth.

"Sam!" Ms. Carner snapped, making the class fall silent. I was looking at Gamzee, seeing the hurt in his eyes. "Gamzee, don't pay attention to this rude lot." She told him, touching his shoulder.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Yes. It's true." He said loudly. "My old man killed my brother when we were kids and went to jail. But he got out last week. That's why I'm here." His voice didn't waver, even though tears filled his eyes. "And yes, he is the leader of the Subjugglators."

Silence rung loudly after he put his head down on the desk. Ms. Carner didn't seem to know how to react to that, so I did.

I put my hand on his back, feeling him shaking. Ms. Carner seemed to skip over the awkward silence and got to teaching, the rest of the class going back to semi normal. I didn't really pay attention, trying to make Gamzee feel better all through class.

When the bell rang, he finally sat up. His eyes were full of something that scared me slightly. He looked like he was ready to murder someone.

I threw my things into my bag and waited for him, not wanting to leave him alone. When he stood up, I saw his hands shaking.

Before I knew it, I'd grabbed his hand, holding it as we walked out of the room. His eyes lightened at that, his face softening. "I'm okay." He said softly, squeezing my hand.

But I didn't let go of him. And he didn't let go of me.


	5. Chapter 4

The only class that he wasn't right next to me in was choir. He sat with the bass section while I sat with the tenors. This was the class we had right before lunch, and it was peaceful. Mr. Raines was a nice guy to everyone, but so help you if you talked during practice or whispered a rumor in his room.

We dubbed this a Raines Rage. He could literally make you so scared you would wet yourself. When we first seperated, Gamzee gave me a nervous look. Every few minutes, he would cast me a nervous glance, biting his lip.

It was so cute that I had to look away. Sollux, Aradia and Dave were also in this class. Dave was a bass, Sollux was with me in the tenors and Aradia was a soprano. Somehow, the only time Sollux lost his lisp is when he sings.

Dave dropped his cool kid act here, mostly because he'd been the subject of a Raines Rage before. But now he went along with everything Raines made him.

He even puts his glasses on his head as soon as practice started. Mr. Raines understands why Dave wears them and lets him skip concerts because he would not be able to wear them. However, during practice, he isn't allowed to wear them.

Nobody would dare look away from Raines away while they're singing. They'd get their head bit off if they did. Once we'd finsihed and handed the music in, the class seperated and I flew back to our corner.

We claimed a corner of the room for our little group the first day of the year. Aradia was second to me, waiting for Sollux.

She sat lightly on his lap, Dave sat between the couple and me. Gamzee grabbed his bag and came to where we sat. "Gamzee, this is Dave." I said as he sat next to me.

Dave held out his fist and Gamzee looked at it for a second. I watched him, wary of what would happen. Dave wasn't the easiest guy to get along with.

We still fight to this day. Terezi and Dave were sort of together, and Dave was such a douche to her in that short amount of time. Terezi is one of my best friends and I only put up with Dave because of her.

Gamzee forced a smile and sat back against the wall. "Lunch after this." I told him, smiling at him. He grinned back, playing with his lipring.

I'd noticed that the first day we met, too. How? It was a turn on of mine.

Guys with piercings and tattoos were _hot._ My cheeks went red when he looked at me. Aradia noticed and smiled. "Hey Gamzee, got any tattoos?" I shot her a dirty look.

"Yeah, actually." He smiled and rolled up the sleeve of his jacket. There was a long portrait on his forearm in an oval frame.

It was of a boy with curly black hair. The name under it said Kurloz 1994-2001. It had to be his brother.

"Oh and I also have this." He pulled his sleeve back down and, lifted up his shirt so we could all see the Capricorn symbol tattooed on his chest over his heart. I only looked at it for a second, focusing more on his rock hard abs and tanned skin.

He dropped his shirt and smiled at us. I couldn't look at him. Not after he just basically ripped his fucking shirt off in front of me.

Aradia was grinning evilly at me, her eyes glittering with amusement. Dave was looking at his hands, Sollux's face was tucked between Aradia's shoulders as he refused to look at the shirtless Gamzee. The bell rang thankfully and we all got up at an easy pace, making our way to our little hidey hole in the library.

The librarian kpet my lunch in here for me, as well as the other's because she is friends with my dad. She's basically my aunt I've known her long enough. "Hi Aunt Karen." She smiled at me and looked at Gamzee.

She was, of course, the only adult who knew about my...sexual prefrences. She caught my arm and pulled me close. "He's cute, Karkat!" She whispered, looking at Gamzee. "Be nice to him. It looks like he really likes you."

See, I didn't _tell_ Aunt Karen I was gay. She fucking _knew_ I was gay. Somehow she's got what is most commonly known as 'gaydar'. Most the time, it was completely fucking useless to me.

But now... "Do you think he's...?" I trailed off, knowing she knew what I meant.

"Oh yeah." She nodded. "What's his name? I should know your future boyfriend's name!" She hooked here arm around mine and took me back to her little office where the others were waiting.

"Gamzee, this is my sorta Aunt Karen. She's the libraran here." He smiled and shook her hand. We got our lunches and headed to the table.

Gamzee opened his bag and pulled out a paper bag. From it, he took an apple and bottle of water. There was a note written on it.

_Sorry baby I was late for work - Mom_

He smiled and took a bite of the apple. "Is that all you have?" Sollux asked. He nodded.

"Yeah. My mom wanted to make my lunch for my first day but I guess she was late for work." He shrugged. "I'm used to not really eating."

I frowned and ripped my sandwich in half, giving one half to him. He looked at me and started to say no. "Just take it." I smiled at him.

I gave him half my chips and muffin as well. He tried to refuse the muffin, but I smooshed it against his mouth, making him laugh and the others stare with frightened eyes. "Karkitty!" I heard Nepeta's shout and instantly ducked under the table, taking my lunch box with me. "I thought I saw him?" She said.

All I saw of her was her legs and blue tail. "Nepeta, that's rude. You shouldn't just run in here and-" Equius said, stepping behind her. I saw his thick boots and shorts. Silently, I willed them away, drowning out what Equius was lecturing.

When they turned and left, I waited to see the door close behind them to get up. "It's safe now." Aradia said, knocking on the table.

I sighed and climbed back into my seat. Gamzee looked at me. "She has a...very unhealthy obsession with Karkat. Even though he's on her team." I kicked Dave under the table, making him stop.

"Do I need to go into the whole thing with John?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. His cheeks went red.

"What about me?" John asked, pulling up a chair. Dave wriggled a little in his as John sat down.

It was obvious that Dave had a huge dude crush on John. Dave's bisexualness aside, John says he's not, as this dipshit puts it, 'not a homko'. We fuck with him and tell him he's Strider-sexual, because, aparently, Dave's Bro flirts with John too.

Which is just weird. I've heard of MILF, not BILF. I snorted to myself and covered my mouth at that. Gamzee looked at me, his face confused. I shook my head. "Nothing John. Nothing at all."

He frowned and opened his Ghost Buster's lunch box. "Oh God no!" He gasped, throwing it onto the table.

"What?!" We all jumped. I was the one who picked it up and looked inside.

Four small containers. Of cake pieces. That's all that was in there.

And John _hated_ cake. I dumped them out. Dave and I started to laugh as Gamzee, Aradia and Sollux gave us blank looks. Nobody knew about the cake thing that hasn't been to John's house.

So it was only Dave and I who understood why this was so funny. I settled before Dave did and opened one.

It was chocolate with buttercream frosting. Fuck it's sad that I know that _just_ from being around John's dad too much. I shrugged and broke a piece off of it, holding it out to Gamzee.

I expected him to take it from my hand and eat it. But, when he took my thumb and index finger into his mouth, I gasped and stared at him.

"It's good." He smiled at me, seeming to ignore my face of horror.

"You - I - you!-" I spluttered at him, wanting to slap him. Dave laughed across the table. "Fuck off Strider!" I growled at him. He made a little kissie face at me, making me resist the urge to punch him. "John, control your boyfriend." I said, keeping my eyes on Dave.

"He's not my boyfriend, Karkat." John sighed. "You know I'm not a-"

"Straight guy." Dave cut him off, putting his hand over his mouth. "Shhh. It's okay. We all know you're gay." He started to get into the usual bullshit with John.

I looked away from them, staring at the table, wondering why Gamzee had done that. Was he...flirting with me?

The thought made my cheeks burn. Without turning my head, I looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was smiling at me, his chin resting in his hand. The first bell ending lunch rang, making me jump.

John pushed Dave off of his lap and went to dump the cake in the trash before he put the containers in his lunch box. I threw my trash away and crammed my lunch box into my backpack, knowing I was going to stop by my locker.

Gamzee crumpled the brown bag and threw it away, following me to our lockers. Once there, he opened his and leaned close to me. "Thank you for sharing your food with me. I'll bring something for you tomorrow, okay?" He said, not waiting for me to answer.


	6. Chapter 5

The rest of the school day went by in a flash, the only thing not changing from class to class was Gamzee smiling at me every chance he got. Aunt Karen's words made me hopeful that Gamzee and I could possibly have something happen.

As we got our things ready to go, Gamzee's phone rang in his pocket. He answered it, his eyes going dark. "Yeah?" He nodded. "Okay. Sure no problem." He said, his brows furrowing. "Really?" He laughed darkly. "Let him know I'll be there shortly." He hung up and looked down at me with dark eyes.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, not sure what else to say. He shrugged.

"More or less. So, I know it's kinda fast, but do you want to do something this Saturday?" He asked, leaning against his closed locker.

"Like hang out?" I asked, my stomach flipping.

"Like a date." He smiled at me, making my cheeks burn. My heart was racing in my chest, making my throat close up.

Unable to speak, I nodded. He pulled out a pen and wrote his number on my hand, a cute smiley face after it.

He kissed my forehead and walked away. I bit my lip and watched him go, his walk quite.

So, I have a date with Gamzee. I bit my lip, so excited to run home and just be alone in my joy.

Should I tell Dad? What would he think of me if he knew I was gay? At this moment, I didn't care.

I ran out of the building, leaving Nepeta in the dust behind me. I ran all the way home and unlocked the door, shutting it quietly behind me. "Dad?" I asked, trying to figure out where he was.

"In the living room kiddo!" He called. I dropped my bag by the door and made my way to the living room, suddenly scared to talk to him. I sat next to him on the couch. "Oh you got a number?" He asked, looking at my hand.

"Y-yeah." I nodded, biting my lip. "I have a date this Saturday, too." I said, not really ready to say with whom.

"Oh? What's her name?" He asked, smiling at me. I ducked my head.

Shit fucking shit here it goes. "His name is Gamzee." I said quickly, looking up at him. when he said nothing.

He was smiling at me still. "Dad, I'm gay." I said, finally out in the open with him. He laughed.

"Oh sweetheart, I know." He hugged me. "I was wondering how long you were going to try to hide it. I've known since before your mom passed." I stared at him, tears in my eyes.

He wasn't mad or anything. I clung to him, crying into his shirt. "Hey, when do I get to meet Gamzee, huh?" I looked up at him. "What? I can't meet my boy's boy?" He asked, making me laugh.

"Saturday, I guess. I don't really know what's happening as far as _that_ is concerned." I said, standing up. "I'll be in my room." I said, wanting to text Gamzee so he has my number.

And secretly hoping we could talk. Dad nodded and let me run off up to my room. I grabbed my phone from the charger and flipped it open. Pesterchum was blinking wildly at me.

John's name popped up first. DUDE YOU HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND?

Dave's was next. GAMZEE'S KIND OF A DICK BUT HEY HES HOT

I cleared it out quickly then put Gamzee's number into my phone, sending him a text. HEY IT'S KARKAT SO YOU HAVE MY NUMBER NOW.

Biting my lip, I waited for a reply. AWESOME KARBRO. KINDA BUSY ATM. TTYL. I smiled and shut my phone. He responded!

The next thing I knew, I was being woken up by Dad knocking on my door. It was dark, and I was still fully dressed on my bed.

My phone was on the floor, the message light blinking at me. "Yeah dad?" I called, picking up my phone.

"Dinner's ready." He said before he walked away. I checked my phone and, once I saw none of the messages were from Gamzee, cleared them away without looking at them.

After dinner, I showered and went to bed like I would any other day. But I would soon find out it wasn't like any other day.


	7. Chapter 6

The next day, I waited for Gamzee by our lockers, by he didn't show up. He wasn't in any of our classes.

The same thing the day after that and the day after that. He missed a solid week. Friday night, I called him. "Hello?" A woman's voice.

"Uh hi. Is Gamzee there? He missed a lot of school and I was just seeing if he's sick or something..." I trailed off.

"Oh sweetheart, he's in the hospital." She said, her voice uneasy. "He has been since Tuesday night. I'm his mom."

"He's...in the hospital?" I asked, hoping I'd misunderstood her.

"Yes." She said sadly. "Are you Karkat?" She asked, her voice softer now.

"Yeah." I breathed.

"He's been asking for you, but we thought it was the medicine takling. Could you meet me at the hospital tomorrow morning?" She asked, her voice sweet now.

"Yes." I said softly, feeling the lump raising in my throat.

"Thank you sweeetie." She said and hung up. My phone fell to the floor of my room.

I fell on my bed, my head swimming. I woke up early so I could shower.

My stomach was too upset for me to eat anything. I caught the bus up to the hospital, not wanting to wake up dad.

Right out front, there was a woman in a dress, a furry wrap around her shoulders, smoking a long cigarette. "Ms. Makara?" I asked, making her look at me.

Her eyes were the same color as Gamzee's, her hair a silky black pulled back into a beautiful up-do. She had a bruise on one of her high cheekbones. "Yes." She smiled at me.

Gamzee didn't get his height from her, obviously. She was only slightly taller than me in her heels. She put out her cigarette and hugged me. "Thank you for coming." She said as she squished my face between her breasts.

"Of course." I said, following her inside. We got into an elevator and went up to the hightest floor before we got out. She stopped in front of a room, her hand on the doorknob. "May I see him alone? Please?" She nodded and opened the door for me.

Gamzee was on the wide hospital bed, asleep and shirtless. Gauze was wrapped around his waist. He had a few shallow cuts on his chest that hadn't been there before.

His eye was swollen and bruised, a big purple bruise on his cheek like his mother's, a cut in the middle of his. His lip was split and swollen opposite his lipring.

I walked close to the bed and touched his hand the IV wasn't in, holding it. His knuckles were scabbed, cuts slashed into them.

His eye opened, his split lips parting to smile at me. "Hi." He said softly. "I kinda gave up on you actually coming." He said, closing his eye.

"I just found out last night. What the fuck happened Gamzee?" I asked, tears building up in my eyes.

"My old man called me out when I said I was gonna leave the gang. Came to our new house and started a fight with me. I got him pretty good though after he hit my Mom. Then he stabbed me and I don't really know what happened after that." He said in one breath, not opening his eye.

That's what the cuts on his hand were. I kissed his knuckles, making him look at me. My tears were dropping freely now, making him frown. "Hey." He cupped my cheek with the hand I held. "Don't cry, okay? I'm fine, really. The doctors say I'll be out tomorrow if the stitches are doing well." He said, making me look at him.

Gamzee was so strong and all I could do is cry. "Come here." He said softly, pulling me onto the bed with him. He kept his arm free, stroking my cheek softly. I was scared to touch him, afraid to hurt him.

"I wasn't sure what I would see when I came to see you, Gamzee. If you were going to be an inch from death or if you were going to have a missing arm or something." I said, trying to not picture it.

It would make me cry more if I did. "I've had worse, trust me." He whispered, kissing my forehead. I frowned at him.

"That's not the fucking point." I said, trying to stay calm and remember that he was hurt. "Gamzee, the point is that I was scared that I was going to lose you." I hid my face instantly after I said it.

He was silent for a long moment before he touched my neck, making me shiver. "Karkat." He whispered. "Look at me." I shook my head. "Please?"

I looked at him, my face bright red. He leaned forward and kissed me. Not on the forehead or nose, but my fucking lips. Surprised, it took me a second to kiss him back.

When I did, he sighed, cupping my cheek again. A second later, he hissed and pulled back. His lip had split open again, blood beading and welling there.

He wiped it away with the back of his hand and licked his lip. "Sorry." He whispered, planting a wet kiss to my forehead. I smiled at him, kissing his nose.

"It's okay." I breathed, wrapping my arms carefully around his neck. "Does it hurt?" I asked, my hands in his hair. "Getting stabbed?"

"Eh. It's not the _greatest_ thing in the world. But he missed my internal organs, so it's not as bad as it could be. But, if the knife is sharp enough, you don't even feel it until they pull it out of you." He frowned. "His wasn't really that sharp."

I stared at him with fearful eyes. Was he in pain? And how the fuck does he know that?! "I won't even ask how the fuck you know that." I said, biting my lip. He smiled at me.

"Ex- gang member, remember?" He poked my nose and moved it from side to side. "I kind of know things most guys don't." He smiled softly at me. "Not to mention I know how to pierce people and you always use a sharp needle to make sure there's no blunt force trama to the area. Same for knives."

"So...where he stabbed you is going ot bruise?" I asked, trying to follow what he was saying.

"Exactly." He sighed, moving. He lifted the gauze on his waist and sighed again. I didn't want to see it. I couldn't bare to see it. Not right fucking now. "It's already started, too."

"I'm sorry." I said. "I should have been here sooner." I swallowed hard, feeling the sting of more tears threaten to escape my eyes.

"Karbro." He took my chin in his hand and made me look at him. "You didn't know." He said, looking into my eyes. Well, eye.

Why did I feel so connected to him after such a short aammout of time knowing him? I remembered back when Mom had told me about how she and Dad met.

That they fell in love instantly and stayed in love ever since. Love at first sight.

At the time, I thought she was full of shit. But now, laying here with Gamzee, I think I understood what she meant all those years ago. There was a knock on the door and I didn't feel bothered to move.

The doctor came in and only paused for a second when he saw me. "Okay Mr. Makara. We need to clean your stitches and change the gauze now." He said, already putting on a pair of gloves.

Gamzee's face pinched and he sat up. I sat up too, holding his hand. I couldn't look away as the doctor unrolled the gauze around Gamzee's waist and looked at the dark black stitches in his skin.

"We'll give you some medicine to reduce the bruising. I can guess that hurts pretty bad." He said as he poured some clear liquid on a circular pad and pressed it to one of the lines of stitches.

Gamzee jerked. "Fucking ow." He hissed, his hand squeezing mine tightly. Then the smell hit me. It was straight rubbing alcohol.

I knew how bad that shit hurt on open wounds. Dad had mixed up the rubbing alcohol and the hydrogen peroxide once when I was younger and poured some onto my skinned knee. I'd screamed bloody murder at how bad it had hurt.

But Gamzee only jerked and pinched his face up as the doctor put soaking wet pads on the other three lines of stitches, shaking bad next to me.

I held him by his shoulders, letting him lean into me as his arms gave out. After a minute or so, the doctor lightly rubbed the pads across the stitches and threw them away.

He opened a fresh roll of gauze and wrapped it around Gamzee, his hands darting around his back without touching me. I didn't say anything until the doctor left.

I lowered Gamzee back down, his body still shaking. "Its done now. It's done. You can relax." I said, stroking his uninjured cheek.

He took a shaking breath and looked at me. With his free hand, he caught mine and held it. A nurse popped in, a needle in her hand.

"There we go." She said as she shot it into a tube in Gamzee's IV and pushed something on it, making the dripping faster. "This should help with the pain and bruising." She smiled at us on the bed. "You must be Karkat." She beamed at me. I nodded.

Without saying anything else, she left, shutting the door behind her. In a couple of minutes, Gamzee's eye was shut, his breathing even.

He was asleep. A thought hit me and I smiled down at him. I wrote a note for him and left it where he would see it, hoping I would be back before he woke up.

I kissed his forehead and covered him up. The elevator doors opened and there was his mom. "Oh! Karkat, I was just coming to check on you two. Is everything alright?" She asked, instantly worried.

"Yeah everything is fine. I just have an idea on how to make him feel better." I smiled at her, making her blink. She pulled me into a hug suddenly, her arms tight around me.

"Can I talk to you before you run off?" I nodded, sitting next to her in the hall.


	8. Chapter 7

I made my way to John's house. Not for him, but for...his Dad. I needed Mr. Egbert's help.

My conversation with Gamzee's mom replayed in my head the whole way there.

_"Karkat, I'm sure you know Gamzee is...different, right?" His mom asked. I nodded. "And you know why." It wasn't a question. _

_"Yes." I nodded, not sure where she was going with this. _

_"Do you know about his brother?" I nodded again. "After what happened with our Kurloz, Gamzee shut out anything having to do with emotions. He didn't have a relationship with anyone. And, because of his bloodline, he joined the family business." She skated over the word 'gang'. _

_"I'm sorry, but what does this have to do with me?" I asked, still not sure where this was going._

_"The life we live is a very dangerous one, sweetheart. And, while I'm happy for my son and for you, I don't want you to get hurt or to see him get hurt because of you. Do you understand?"_

_"I do. But just because there's a chance of me getting hurt doesn't mean I'm just going to leave him. There's always the risk of getting hurt in a relationship. Sure maybe this is a different kind of hurting, but I will be here for him. and be with him." I said, suddenly remembering I was talking to an adult. "I'm sorry, but I just can't leave him like that." _

_She stood up silently and I thought she was going to slap me. Instead she hugged me again, sweetly, like my mom used to. "You passed. You now have my approval to date my son." _

At the time, I thought it was fucked up of her to do that to me. But now, looking back, I see her reasoning.

If I was someone like them, I would want something real instead of someone who would bail on me the second shit got real.

Because, for them, shit was always real. I reached John's house and knocked. Dave answered, making me raise my eyebrows. "What? I stayed the night." He smiled.

He was wearing one of John's bigger shirts and shorts. "Right. 'Stayed the night'." I air quoted that part. "I need his dad's help."

"That's a frist." Mr. Egbert said, popping out of the kitchen with - what else - a cake in his hands. Dave sighed and joined John on the couch. "What can I help you with today, Karkat?"

"I need your help to make a cake." His pipe fell from his mouth. Silence rang through the house.

"S-sure." He set the cake on the counter as I picked his pipe up for him, handing it to him.

Two hours later, we were done. The cake was on a tray and frosted, decorated by Mr. Egbert. He put his hand on my head. "You did a good job, Karkat. I'm proud of you." He smiled at me.

I smiled at him. "Thanks for helping me Mr. Egbert. I'll bring the tray and cover back." He nodded and patted my back.

"What's the cake for, Karkat?" John asked as I headed to the front door.

"Gamzee. He's in the hospital." I didn't want to get into it, so I left them with that, knowing they were going to blow up my phone later.

I got on the bus again and sat down, the tray on my lap. "What do you have there, kiddo?" A man asked across from me.

Like he really cared? "A severed head." I shrugged, gaining a strained silence in the bus. At my stop, I got off and, over my shoulder, told them I was kidding.

The hopsital staff didn't look twice at me as I made my way uo to Gamzee's room. I was happy that Mr. Egbert had given me a knife and plastic spoons and small party plates. Because if he hadn't, I wouldn't have them

Gamzee was still asleep when I opened the door to his room. I shut it quietly and moved to set the cake on the low table that was there for guests. Once I had it all arranged, I went to sit next to him in the bed.

He grumbled slightly and rolled over, his back to me. I kissed his shoulder. "Hey sleepy head." I whispered softly.

"What?" He mumbled.

"I have a surprise for you, that's what." I smiled against his skin.

He rolled onto his back and looked at me, his swollen eye twitching slightly as he tried to open it too. "I didn't even know you'd left. How long have I been out?" He asked.

I looked at the clock on the wall. "About three hours." I smiled at him. "It's okay. You need to rest. But I thought you'd want to see this." I said, getting down. He sat up as I pulled the cover off of the cake and cut a piece for him.

Grabbing a spoon and plate, I gave it to him. He stared at it. "Isn't this the cake you fed me at school?" He asked, his face red.

I nodded and cut the tip of the piece off with the spoon, holding it up for him to eat it. He smiled at me and took the spoon into his mouth. "Wow, it's even better." He smiled at me.

"Really?" I asked, not believing him. "I made it with Mr. Egbert's help." I looked away. His hand rested on my knee.

"I don't lie about cake or pie." He smiled at me. I grinned back and lept feeding him. The door opened right as he took the last bite.

"Hi boys." His mom came into the room. "Oh wow what's that smell?" She asked, sniffing the air. "Karkat, you brought cake?" She laughed softly. "May I?" She asked, smiling at me.

"Of course. Gamzee can't eat it all by himself. Or he shouldn't eat it all by himself." I said as he got ready to argue. She cut herself a small piece and sat on the couch, her legs bending to the side.

"Oh wow it's great!" She smiled at me. "Where did you buy it sweetie?" She asked, covering her mouth. "I need to buy this."

"I made it." I said, feeling my cheeks get hot. Her eyes popped.

"Really?!" She asked, her mouth hanging open. "Wow." She smiled. "You did a job." Gamzee smiled at me.

"Told you so." He grinned. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand.

I spent a few hours there. Dad called, wondering where I was. I told him only that Gamzee was in the hospital and he didn't ask again. Around two, his mom had to go to work. At three, the doctor came in to clean the stitches and change the gauze again.

Again, I held Gamzee by his shoulders, letting him lean into me as the alcohol soaked pads touched the stitches, making him jerk and shake. The doctor said the bruises were getting better already and told me that Gamzee would have to clean and change his gauze every six hours until the stitches dissolved.

When seen rolled around, Dad called and told me that I needed to come home for the night. I kissed Gamzee's forehead and told him I would be back in the morning.

At home, Dad asked what had happened to Gamzee and I told him a little about it, not going into full detail because I wasn't sure if Gamzee and his mom were going to tell the same story. Dad's face was horrorfied when I told him that Gamzee had been stabbed.

I went to bed after finally eating dinner. When I woke up, I instantly got dressed and headed to the hospital.

It was only seven in the morning, but I promised Gamzee. A black car was parked outside fo the hospital when I got there, but I didn't think too much of it.

As I waited for the elevator, I opened my phone, texting Dad so that he knew I was here.

When the doors opened, a tall man stepped off, three other men trailing him. He bumped into me and I almost fell. "Sorry bout that kid." He said over his shoulder, his voice extremely deep.

He looked so much like Gamzee that I almost thought it was him. I got to the floor Gamzee was on and into his room, the man's face burned into my mind.

"Goodmorning." I said as I opened the door and took my jacket off. Gamzee was staring straight ahead, his face pale and void of any emotions. "Gamzee, what's wrong?" I asked, standing by his bed.

He was hardly breathing. "Gamzee?" I took his face in my hands, making him look at me. "Gamzee!" He jumped and blinked, his black eye twitching. The swelling had gone down quite a bit, but he still couldn't open it.

"Hand me my phone." He gasped, pointing to the table. I grabbed him phone and put it in his hand. He dialed someone and put his phone to his ear. A few seconds later, he cussed and hung up, only to redial. "Get out. He's pissed." He paused for a moment and I heard his mother's voice on the other end. "He was just here...Yeah I know. Okay. Stay safe, Mom." He hung up and looked at me, his eye wide with fear.

"Gamzee, what's happening?" I asked, setting his phone back down. He swallowed hard and at up.

"My old man was just here." My mind instantly flashed to the tall man. "Nobody's safe, Karkat." The heart monitor started to beep faster. "And I can't stop him. Not like this." He said, his voice going from scared to pissed.

"Stop him how?" I asked. I wasn't sure what he meant, but that glint in his eye was the one he had when he left school the day he got landed here.

"The only way Subjugglators know." He said, clenching his fist. "I have to kill him." My heart beat harder at his words. "Or he'll kill me. And Mom. And you." His hand tightened around mine almost painfully.

"Can't you just get him arrested again?" I asked, fear coursing through my veins. He shook his head.

"He's got connections. So even if we somehow ot him back in jail, he'd just get out a few years later. Like he did last week. Murder is supposed to be a life sentence. Not a couple of years, Karkat. And he'd find us and kill us." He shook his head again slowly.

"There has to be some other way." I said, trying to cling to some shred of hope.

"Not one that I can think of. And I won't get caught." He laughed bitterly. "After all, I am _his_ son."

I got the feeling that I wasn't going to talk him out of this. "Gamzee..." I sighed heavily. "Fine. But not now." He nodded. "You have to get better first."

"Of course." The doctor came in, a chart in his hands.

"Okay. Let's take a look at what we have." He said, sitting the chart down. I held my breath as he unrolled Gamzee's gauze, exposing his skin and the patches of stitches.

There was no bruising or redness now around them. "Very good!" The doctor smiled at us. "It looks like you'll get to go home today, Mr. Makara." Gamzee smiled.

An hour later, he was being released, his mom and I walking him to her car. I sat in the back with him and held his hand. He had some issues sitting up, so he was partially leaning against me, his head on my shoulder.

He didn't say anything about his plan to his mother, of course. So neither did I. We rolled to a stop in front of a large house.

"We're home sweetie." His mom turned. Gamzee had fallen asleep against me, his cheek pressed to my chest. I smiled down at him and shook him lightly. He yawned and sat up, flinching as his muscles constricted.

"Karkat, I have to warn you. My mother is rather...odd. She still treats Gamzee like he's a little boy and probably will to you." His mom warned me as we got out of the car. "And she'll ask you to call her Granny. Just do it." I nodded as I took Gamzee's hand.

We went throught the front door and they stepped out of their shoes. I did the same, not wanting to cause trouble.

From the room over, a little old woman shuffled to us quickly. "My little Gam!" She cried, hugging him, making him grit his teeth. "Are you okay, sweetpea?" She asked, reaching up to grab his face.

"I'm fine Granny. This is Karkat, my..." He looked at me, not sure what to call me.

"You're my baby's boyfriend!" She shouted, pulling me into a - shockingly tight- hug. "Call me Granny, sugarpie." She kissed my cheeks and pulled back. "You're skinny, but we can change that." She said brightly.

Gamzee was smiling at the little old woman, his face calm. "You picked a cutie, Gam. It's about time." She lightly smacked his hip. making him laugh.

He looked at his granny with so much love in his...eye that I felt myself loving him more.

My first day with the Marara's was rather eventful. I helped Gamzee clean his stitches while Granny made something that smelt like heaven in the kitchen.

We ate in the living room and right as Granny was about to pull out photo albums, Dad called, wanting me home. After all, I'd been gone all day and it was a school night.

Gamzee walked me to the door and kissed me goodbye and promising that he would be at school tomorrow. I caught the bus home and smiled at Dad, who gave me an odd look. "Everything okay, Karkat?" He asked as I all but floated to the stairs.

"Everything is perfect, Dad." I smiled at him. "See you in the morning." I said, heading up to shower. He was off on Mondays, which meant breakfast together and a ride to school.

So I got to sleep in. Even better. Things seemed to be just perfect.


	9. Chapter 8

The fog of perfection lasted for a good month, nothing bad happening to anyone in that time frame. Dad and I were doing better with each other. Gamzee and I became very close, openly holding hands and kissing at school.

His Mom wanted me and Dad over for Gamzee's birthday and Christmas dinner. She and Dad seemed to hit it off instantly, talking freely about alcohol and food as Gamzee and I watched movies in the other room.

I learned that Gamzee was great at playing guitar and was even better at writing songs. He wrote me one for Christmas and all I had for him was a new sweater.

His favorite color is purple and he loves music. He wanted to get another piercing for his birthday, but he couldn't do it himself and all the piercing shops were closed.

I would have offered, but I know shit about piercing. Two days after Winter break was over, that fog was blown away by a threatening letter that fell out of Gamzee's locker.

It basically said that he shouldn't get too comfortable. After that, he started to train. We spent hours in the gym his Granny had in the back part of her house as I watched him working with the weights.

I would dick around when he wasn't looking, pulling some sick ninja moves out of my ass with a long stick that was propped in the corner of the room. One day, he caught me. "It's too long for you." He said, smiling as he sat up, returning the hundred pound barbell to the little stand.

It flew out of my hands mid-swing and flew at him. Somehow, he fucking caught it before it smacked him in the face and came to stand by me. "Where'd you learn that?" He asked, his eyes bright.

"Dave's Bro. They fight with swords and shit like that." I shrugged. He shook his head.

"That was good, but you'd be better with dual weapons." He said, stroking my cheek. "Wait here." He ducked into a room off the end of the long gym hall after unlocking the door. He came back with a box, sitting it on the floor in front of me.

Inside were weapons. He pulled out what looked like bowling pins and started to juggle them catching two in one hand and one in the other, swinging it to his left so fast is whistled.

He moved some things around before he pulled out two small, curved blades. "Sickles." He grinned, handing me them.

From the room, he pulled out a dummy that looked just like a man. I watched as he set it up, his muscles rippling. "May I?" He asked, holding his hands out.

I handed him the sickles, curious as to what he was about to do. He pushed me up against the wall and smiled at me before he stood about five feet from the dummy.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. I gaped as he spun like a tornado toward the dummy, sinking one blade into the neck so hard it almost fell over. He grinned at me as he pulled it out, the dummy now sliced so deep he could pull the head to the side and it hung there.

Seeing him like this...was very hot. That was another thing I found myself learning. When he was at his most dangerous, he was also at his hottest. I bit my lip when he handed them back to me, resisting the urge to jump him.

Instead, I set the sickles on the floor and stepped up, moving slowly. He wrapped his arms around my waist when I put mine around his neck, my fingers getting lost in his curly mass of hair.

He bent down and kissed me softly, getting more into it when he felt my persistance. While we'd made out every now and then, we hadn't done anything serious like fucking. But today felt different.

Like it was _supposed _to happen today. I raised up to my tiptoes so he wouldn't have to bend as much and felt his growing bulge against my leg.

As the kiss grew even deeper, I was joining him in the...growing department. After a few minutes, he pulled back, grabbing me by my hand.

I followed him blindly through Granny's huge house as he took me up three floor and into a large room. When the smell of grape candy hit my nose, I knew it was his room, even with the lights still off.

He shut and locked the door behind him before he picked me up, kissing me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt his smile against my lips a moment before I was plopped onto a huge bed, him over me.

As our lips met again, his hands caught mine by my wrists, pinning me to the bed. He gound his hips against mine, making me moan into his mouth and pull back slightly. "G-Gamzee." I gasped. "This is the first time I've ever done something like this..." I told him, feeling the heat raising in my cheeks.

He smiled at me and kissed my nose. "I've never done this either." He sounded so confortable I wasn't sure. "So we'll go slow, okay?" I nodded.

We kissed again and things got even more heated as his hands slipped under my shirt, freeing my hands in the process. I wrapped them in his hair, pulling slightly. He moaned quietly into the kiss, moving his mouth to my neck.

His lips on my skin made me shiver as I panted. Slowly, he lifted my shirt up, pulling it over my head. As he sat up, I pulled his up and off of him by the neck, baring his beautiful skin.

I traced the raised pink scars the stitches had left in his stomach before I moved my fingers to trace his tattoo. He stared at me as I did this, hunger burning in his eyes.

When I pulled him back to me, he held himself up as we kissed, allowing me the chance to wrap my legs around his waist again, tucking my feet back by his ass. He groaned and ducked his head when I shifted my weight, making him move foward, pressing his excitement against my ass.

He sat up, bringing me with him so that I was sitting on his lap. I pressed my body as close as I could to his, feeling electricity when our bare skin touched.

I ducked my head against his shoulder when his hand slid down the back of my pants, biting my lip before I kissed the skin of his neck. He squeezed my ass with his huge hand before his hand came out of my pants.

He held me by my shoulders for a moment before he pushed my back slowly, putting me on my back. I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he unbuttoned my pants. He smiled up at me, lifting my ass as he pulled my pants off.

I was already barefoot - Granny didn't like shoes in the house, said they made it feel less like a home if you wear your shoes - so Gamzee didn't have to worry about that. Almost like he was teasing me, he _slowy_ pulled my boxers down, exposing my aching dick.

His smile went from sweet to unbareably sexy a second before he took the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. My vision blurred at how good it felt, my hand resting on the back of his head.

A low moan made its way out of my mouth as he took my whole lenght in his mouth, sucking as he pulled back. I fisted his hair and the sheet, not able to control myself as my eyes squeezed shut.

So. Fucking. Good. And, much too soon, he pulled off, making me cry out in argument. He moved to kiss me, his own pants somehow disappearing along with both of our underwear.

He reached over to his bedside table and pulled out a condom in a wrapper. "Not like I knew we'd be doing this, but it's better to be safe than horny." He said, sitting it to the side as he kissed me again.

My heart was racing and my head was swimming with nerves. Two of his fingers pressed against my lips and I took them in, swirling my tongue around them as I met his eyes. His face was flushed and he'd pushed his hair back, making it curl sexily over his forhead.

He pulled his fingers out of my mouth and kissed my chest as he lowered his hand to my ass, his finger pressing against my entrance. Slowly, he started to stretch me out, scissoring me. I almost screamed as he hit something in me that felt _so fucking amazing._

Just that little touch made me a quivering pile of need. "Gamzee. Please..." I said between pants.

He moved for a second and I opened my eyes to see him ripping the condom pack open with his teeth. I watched as he rolled it over his...impressive size and settled over me again, his face level with mine.

"Ready?" He breathed, his hair tickling my cheeks. I nodded, closing my eyes as he kissed me, his head pressing into me.

The feeling made me jump slightly, but I held still until he was all the way inside of me, stretching me even further than his fingers did. It _hurt_. The total opposide of what his fingers felt like.

He gave me time to get used to it before he pulled out almost all the way before he thrust back into me, hitting the spot that took away all the pain. I bit my lip hard against the scream, wrapping my legs around his waist again.

Somehow, he knew what that meant. He grabbed my waist and held me still as he thrust into me harder, not letting the recoil push me away, hitting that spot dead on.

I couldn't tell how much time had passed, but after what felt like only a few minutes, I was coming between us. Seconds later, he hunched over me, his own orgasm shaking him as he moaned my name.

He pressed his body against mine, his weight comfortable and warm even in his sweaty state. We bathed in the glow of post sex joy, laughing softly at nothing and panting.

After a minute or so, he lifted himself up, pulling out of me. It hurt, but not that bad now, the pain centered around my lower back. He lay to the left of me, tossing the condom into the trash, before he wrapped his arms around me.

I rolled onto my side, making my back hurt a little bit, to face him as he rolled to face me. He smiled at me as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I wasn't sure how it would go over if I said them. During my inner debate, he said them, softly, kissing my face as he did.

"I love you Karkat." My heart beat slowly. He loves me. I smiled, feeling the tears coming to my eyes.

"I love you Gamzee." He smiled against my neck and sighed like he was holding his breath. I stroked his hair as he rested his head on my shoulder. "I really do."

He pressed soft kisses on my skin before he fell asleep. "I won't leave you alone in this fucked up world, Gamzee. I promise." I said a second before I fell asleep too.


	10. Chapter 9

Ever since that amazing milestone in our relationship, Gamzee and I were connected at the hip. Even when things got..heated.

A week after our little sexcapade, we got jumped walking to his house. It was unusual to be jumped in the middle of the day on the North end of town, but Gamzee reacted like I expected.

As he beat the ever loving shit out of the two guys, I could tell he was holding back. I'd seen him train all out once. Only once.

He broke the 'undestructable' dummy. Into bits. It was frightening yet oddly...sexy. I got better and better with the sickles. Still nowhere near his lethal tornado, but better than I had been.

It made me nervous when he would watch me, stopping what he was doing to do so, not even trying to hide it. My face would burn a little hotter and I felt the need to get my swings and cuts perfect as his eyes were on me.

The more time we spent together, both physically and in other ways, I felt the need growing in my heart. I felt like I needed to learn how to protect him.

Today after school was one of the three days we trained, and he was watching me, of course. As my mind wandered, I hated that he would need protecting for such stupid reasons.

My anger boiled and I didn't hold back anything. With a snarl I didn't mean to let out, I hooked the sickle behing the neck of the new dummy and, with more force I even knew I could generate, sent it flying face first into the floor.

There was a moment of total silence as I tried to calm myself. My hands were clenched so tightly around the sickles that my knuckles were white, the skin pulled tightly over the bones. Gamzee clapped, making me jump and turn to face him.

He was closer than I expected, his arms going around me. I realized I was shaking with anger still as he arms snared me, holding me close. "Hey." He said softly, lifting my face with his hand under my chin. "It's okay. Relax." He kissed me, taking some of my anger away.

But not all of it. He frowned when he realized that, too. "What's wrong?" He asked, trying to break my death grip on the sickles still at my sides.

I ducked my head, not wanting him to see my face as I spoke. "I'll kill them." I said, my voice shaking with my pure rage. "I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt you." He didn't let go of me but didn't say anything. "I hate all of them." I said, taking a shallow breath.

After a long moment, he moved, backing up to the bench, bringing me with him. He sat down and pulled me to straddle his lap. He kissed me again, this time forcefully.

Fucker knew I couldn't resist him when he took control like this and he rarely used it. I had enough mind to let the sickles to fall to the floor under the bench before I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, twisting my fingers into his hair, pulling slightly as his tongue flicked across my lips.

He took my face in his hands, holding me still as he pulled away. Another thing he'd learned about me was that when he kissed me like this, my normal mind was gone and I could kiss and touch him forever.

I hated the fact that he could kiss me like that and was perfectly fine while I was on his lap, panting. But God I loved it...

"I love you, Karkat." I smiled, my mind semi-returning. I turned my face and kissed the palm of his left hand.

"I love you too, Gamzee." I said, seeing his eyes glow as I did. He kissed me shortly, letting my face go. "I will protect you from them. Even if that means killing them." I swore to him, resting my forehead against his.

"Tell you what." He said, not trying to move. "Keep yourself alive and leave the killing to me." I opened my mouth to protest, but his lips stopped it. "As long as I know you're safe, I'll be able to focus on staying as safe as I can." He said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind. "I should show you how to fight without the sickles." I frowned. "I'm sorry I just thought about that."

I shook my head, starting to get up. His arms didn't budge, one of his hands moving to rest on the small of my back as the other fisted my hair, not pulling painfully. "Karkat, I want to keep you safe, not just alive. I should have taught you this when I first got out of the hospital. When we got jumped, I was so scared they were going to hurt you." He said, his face buried against my neck.

"They'll do anything to hurt me, including hurting the people I love. Granny and Mom might not look it, but they're both strong. They both carry guns with them, even if they're just going to the bathroom. It's better to go to jail then to a cemetery." He said it so matter-of-factly that it made me wonder what kind of childhood he had.

"I wasn't disagreeing with you. I don't want you to feel guilty about not teaching me hand to hand combat. I didn't think of it either." I said, covering his mouth with my hand so he couldn't argue. "It's not something you _should_ be thinking about doing with your boyfriend. I want you to have a normal life, even if I might get hurt."

As I spoke, I knew what I was saying was the total truth. I'd had a conversation with his mother months ago on the same topic. And I still feel the same about it. "I love you. I knew you were in a gang when I first met you, paint and all. And, knowing that, I still got close to you. I _knew_ there was going to be moments like when we got jumped. And I don't care." I felt something warm and wet touch my fingers, rolling over the back of them, cooling as they went.

I moved my hand, holding him close, letting him cry against my chest. His arms were wrapped arounf the small of my back now, holding me tightly. I stroked his hair as I spoke. "I can only guess how your past was, but I want to make your future as perfect as possible. Not something you should be scared of.

You shouldn't have to worry about the people you love getting hurt. Or that crying is a sign of weakness." I said, my own eyes stinging as I blinked away tears. "How long have you gone without crying?" I asked, not expecting an answer. I didn't get one. "You deserve to cry, Gamzee. After everything you've been though. You deserve to cry more than anyone else."

I put my arms around his shaking shoulders, holding him tightly. After what felt like seconds, he was done, his hiccups and ragged breathing rocking us both.

As he composed himself, I rubbed his back lightly, kissing the top of his head. When he looked up at me, I smiled softly and wiped his face of tears with the back of my hand. He bit his quivering lip hard. "Don't do that. You'll make it bleed." I pulled lightly oon it with my thumb until he let it go.

He stared at me for a long moment before he kissed me, softly at first but growing more and more heated. When we broke apart briefly, he whispered my name between pants, making me moan when he pulled me back to him.

To be honest, most training days ended with us getting busy in the shower or his room. It seemed today was another one of those amazing days.


End file.
